


Sea Kelp Smoothie

by MayGlenn



Series: May's February Ficlet Challenge 2019 [17]
Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Merpeople, Slice of Life, that's what friends are for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 16:05:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17831747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayGlenn/pseuds/MayGlenn
Summary: “Eugh, I can’t believe you drink that stuff!”Starsky and Hutch were both sat shirtless and in a whirlpool up to their shoulders at Huggy’s bar, the only portside bar in Bay City that catered to humans and merpeople alike. Looking around them, plenty of people of both the land and oceanic variety were finding love, or at least a good burger and beer, here.Or, that’s what normal people were eating. Hutch was enjoying one of Huggy’s very fine sea kelp smoothies, to Starsky’s great disgust.





	Sea Kelp Smoothie

“Eugh, I can’t believe you drink that stuff!” 

Starsky and Hutch were both sat shirtless and in a whirlpool up to their shoulders at Huggy’s bar, the only portside bar in Bay City that catered to humans and merpeople alike. Looking around them, plenty of people of both the land and oceanic variety were finding love, or at least a good burger and beer, here. 

Or, that’s what  _ normal  _ people were eating. Hutch was enjoying one of Huggy’s very fine sea kelp smoothies, to Starsky’s great disgust. 

“I can’t even watch you drink that stuff!” Starsky said, shuddering and making greatly exaggerated overtures to vomiting. “Who drinks that?” 

“That’s racist, Starsk,” Hutch said severely, though Starsky knew it was his secretly-gleeful-severe voice. “I’d say about half the customers in Huggy’s bar drink these. It’s on the menu.” 

“Yeah, only for  _ you _ , and because Huggy likes you, you freak,” Starsky said, biting into his hamburger with clear relish. The two cops sat at a neat little table right at chin height, which Starsky liked, not only because it allowed him to sit in the water with Hutch, but because it was easier to shovel food into his mouth from this height. 

“Speak of the Bear, and he appears,” Huggy said, leaning over the side to set a trio of beers down on the high table, and sliding himself down in between the two men. “Man, I am run off my flippers, if you take my meaning.” 

“You know, I’m not sure you can say that,” Starsky pointed out, jabbing a mustard-covered thumb in Hutch’s direction. “The political correctness police might have to issue a warning.” 

Hutch ignored him and patted Huggy’s bare shoulder (everyone wore swimsuits to The Pits, if they wanted to fully enjoy the amenities, and the wait staff and owner were no exception). “You just take a load off. The girls will handle it. Speaking of girls, check out the shells on your bartender,” Hutch added, nodding to a mermaid mixing drinks at the lower bar.

“Don’t even think about it, man, she’s seeing a shark. I mean a  _ loan  _ shark. Gotta clarify with you two.”  

“Huggy, you cooked my burger perfectly again,” Starsky moaned, taking another bite and talking with his mouth full. “I can’t tip you like this every time, man.” 

“A rare burger for a rare guy, I know the drill,” Huggy assured him. 

Starsky beamed, giving him a closed-mouth smile with his cheeks stuffed full.  

Hutch, however, raised his smoothie glass to salute the proprietor. “And you still make the best seaweed smoothie in the seven seas.” 

Huggy laughed. “Okay, now I know you’re putting me on, and that means you want to talk business. What you want?” 

“Nothing!” Starsky exclaimed, laughing. “Maybe another beer—but you brought me one already!” 

“Oh, there is one thing, actually. Not work related, though!” Hutch said quickly. “I’m looking to add a Huracán flower to my anemone garden. You heard of anyone selling or trading them?” 

“My God, could you be any more of a stereotype?” Starsky laughed, and looked around at the table. “Aw, Hug, you forgot ta get me the ketchup! How am I supposed to eat fries without ketchup?” 

“How quickly the mighty have fallen,” Huggy sighed, grabbing the ledge behind him to start pulling himself up. 

“Nah, nah, you sit back down, Hug, it’s okay. Hutch will get it for me, won’t ya, Hutch? Maybe go talk to that girl with the shells, huh? Maybe we oughta arrest her boyfriend.” 

Hutch immediately turned red, and laughed nervously. “Oh, no, no, no, I couldn’t. Why don’t you just—”

“Yeah, man, go talk to her!” Huggy encouraged, giving him a little shove away from the table. “Just don’t call her ‘Shells,’ huh? Her name is Abigail.” 

“I don’t—uh—that is…” Hutch said, but then took another fortifying drink of his sea kelp smoothie. Starsky and Huggy stared at him, silently judging him. “Well, okay. It’s just ketchup, I can get ketchup for you.” 

Hutch floated away from the table and began swimming in between the high tables and underwater stools where patrons enjoyed a salt water soak and a snack in the sheltered bay. He was just approaching the bar when he panicked and made a hard right turn. 

He hauled himself out of the ocean, water clinging to his swim trunks and pouring down his strong calves. He tapped across the floor in his bare feet to a table that hadn’t been bussed yet to claim a bottle of ketchup and return, blushing while his friends laughed. 

“Hutch! What’re you  _ doing _ , man?!” Huggy asked. “I coulda told you she digs landfolk!” 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Hutch glowered, settling back down low into the water with his smoothie and his performance anxiety. 

“Hutch!” Starsky leaned forward to pat Hutch’s arm, revealing a sleek dark fin protruding out of his back, and when he laughed loudly, his multiple rows of razor-sharp teeth showed. “Hutch, I’m sorry, but you’re gonna  _ have  _ to talk to her.” 

“You got your ketchup. I’m not going over there.” 

“But Hutch,” Starsky said with a smile, “...this bottle’s empty.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Seventeenth in the February Ficlet Challenge of 2019. The prompt was "AU: Merpeople." Dedicated to my sister who gave me the idea but doesn't have an AO3 account in the year of Our Lord 2019. 
> 
> You have to comment if I had you thinking Hutch was the merperson!!


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